Do you want to become allies instead of adversaries?
* Co-Parenting Quadrant (D. Stacer, 2015)
What type of co-parent are you? What type is your ex? Are you both willing and able to parent cooperatively, let go of past resentments, work in the best interest of your child, and stop paying thousands of dollars in court fees?
You are "willing and able" to parent cooperatively if you...
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Communicate with my ex about parentings concerns without the use of "family wizard" and legal involvement.
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Never slander the other parent in front of the children.
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Encourage the children to have a safe and health relationship with the other parent.
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Let go of resentments and anger to make a decisions that is agreeable to both parents.
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Allow the other parent to parent in their own way and allow my child to have relationships with other people, include step parents and siblings.
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Find creative ways the meet the needs of the children in the best way possible.
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Can handle upsetting information about the other house without raging and threatening to call the lawyers!
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Have children who feel comfortable talking with all the adults in their lives and can honestly report that "My parents are friends!"
Not everyone is "willing or able"...
are you willing to learn and try? If you say "yes," then here are some tools to build cooperation:
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1
Introduction to Co-Parenting: Are You "Willing and Able"?
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2
Quick Conflict Resolution Skills
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3
Co-Parenting Lessons
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4
Power of Attachment-Based Parenting
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5
Parenting Styles
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6
Co-Parenting and Reunification Therapy Resources
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Co-Parenting Realities: What is the "best interest of the child"? Reflective Questions on the “Best Interest of the Child” Why is being Trauma-Informed and Attachment-Based Important? -
5 Quick Ways to Resolve Conflict Saying "I'm Sorry" (it's not a weakness!) Find the "Best Interest" with "Common Ground" -
Tips for Successful Co-Parenting: The Co-Parenting Quadrant Co-Parenting Styles Quiz (print and score) Co-Parenting Styles Infographic Healing the Wounds of Divorce Helping Children Transition Between Homes Six Parenting Truces for Divorced Families Co-Parenting Isn’t Working? Try Parallel Parenting Setting Appropriate Boundaries Brave Communication: It's about connection not disconnection! -
Learn Your ACE Score: The ACEs Quiz Parents: The Source of Children's Re-Sources Your Beautiful Brain The Dance of Attachment: Arousal/Relaxation Cycle The Dance of Attachment: Adult Attachment Interview Siegel Attachment Questionnaire Regulating Routines The Siegel "Hand Model of the Brain" -
What is Your Parenting Style? What's Your Parenting Style (Quiz)? Parenting Differences: Attract and Annoy! Developing a Relationship "Roadmap" REST Marriage Conflict Worksheet -
Parental Alienation Syndrome Are Dads As Important As Moms? Grief Process Worksheet Four Goals of Children's Behavior Basic Parenting Plan Template Parenting Worksheet: Who Am I and Who Is My Child? All About Me Exercise 1 All About Me Exercise 2 The Conflict Resolution Workbook The Communication Workbook Emergency Contact List Medical Release Form Glossary of Terms
Co-Parenting that is Attachment-Based...
High-conflict parents who are not "willing or able" to cooperate may create insecurely attached children. Parents who are aware of their own attachment patterns are better able to break generational cycles and promote more empathic, resilient famlies/children.
